Saree #13 #Kiraan
It’s amazing how women love to bond so much, it’s no secret that we do and can talk on any topic without batting an eyelid. Be it MIL, husband, kids and their tantrums, ex boyfriends, husbands, career, addictions, right up to extra marital affairs and the gory details.
We kind of live life in a group. We all have gone through similar growing pain, from our parents restricting us from going out to pubs to wearing short skirts, trying out a drink or a fag, marrying the guy of their choice or being forced to believe that marriage was the ultimate achievement for a woman. Trying to balance a home and a career and numerous such trials which had chains of the society written large over us. We had to join forces to break the shackles down.
College years were a blur of sleepovers, parties, girl talks and boys. Somehow amidst this cacophony my girl pals did help me find my true identity. Realization did dawn that there was more to life than experimenting with makeup, the wonky clothes and a dangerous lifestyle.
As career women, we shared our thoughts, aspirations and apprehensions, our success, failures and much more. As Indian women we walk a thin line between modern and traditional. It doesn’t help what we look like or how we think, it’s always what or who we look at that’s under scrutiny. We cling to close friendships for incredible support to raise our self esteem when the going gets tough.
A friend’s profile on shaadi.com is hidden from her 25-year-old son who is dating his colleague. For this mom its difficult to broach the subject with her son, she needs a companion too. Another friend has married a guy ten years younger, juggling family and business pressures is an art she has mastered over the years. A single lady who is 38, faces the torrent of questions every waking hour. The stories enacted in the truth of real life are endless.
Having girl pals is so fulfilling that it has to be experienced to understand in entirety. After my move to Goa five years ago, I had given up hopes of making any new friendships. When you are in your mid forties (which I was when I moved here), you are set in your ways and are not willing to change or accommodate too many new people in your life. How wrong was I? Not only did I meet some super crazy females, who had been there, done that but who were far more experienced and fun loving than I could imagine. Each one had followed their dreams and moved to Goa on a whim. This town is such, it makes you want to take the big leap, and no one ends up disappointed.
Now, it’s like we are back to our college days but only better, with pajama parties, travel plans made on the spur of the moment, effortlessly hosting luncheons and dinners because no body really cares what’s on the menu as long as its edible. Scoops of ice creams and coffee shared in the middle of the night amidst the myriad of voices in a smoke-filled room with the lingering smell of Bacardi is all that we really need. Calling each other up for chats or remaining silent for a week and more, knowing it doesn’t really matter for the connect that is made at this age is for keeps.
My saree for today is a hand-me-down pure chiffon leheria by my sister from Rajasthan, and jewelry is a multi layered dholki beads necklace designed by me.
